Good for Nothings

We are The Good for Nothings. The children of John Krieg. The name drilled into us and used by our unconscious minds as our mantra.

When my dad died I would hope the pain would die with him. Not his pain, but mine. The pain he chose to bestow upon us, to bequeath us, as was put in his last and will and testament as an instrument of pain. He actually created a trust many years ago to provide for his five children. Five children he desperately wanted my mother to bear for him from her 17 year old body. When we became older and got opinions he conveniently wished we had never been born and it was all some plot my mother created to entrap him. I have the letters. He was the one promoting the many babies. She was more than willing to follow his lead so she could be led out of the hellhole she lived in with the former maid who had became her evil step mother and turned my mom into Cinderella.

I think and ask myself: could my dad have gone out in any other way? A loving way, surrounded by his children? Full of love for his off spring and wanting to make amends? And the answer is a clear, NO.

John Krieg could not have gone out surrounded by love, no he had to take jabs at his children right until he drew his last breath. After he died he made sure to continue the pain aided and abetted by his two children who loved him the least and who where there for him the least. The two kids who

chose to stay away from him for most their adult lives due to their inability to handle his criticisms and cruelty. I dont fault them for this. As you will discover dear reader, he was a master of cruelty.

The Two, Chris and Kathy chose in a very concrete and obvious way to continue the legacy of pain and trauma that was inflicted on them by their father. My dad was an equal opportunity offender as my sister Kathy used to relish saying. None of us could feel any worse pain than the other at the hands of my father. He hurt us all. He hit us all. He abused us and that includes both his wives.

Hypocrisy is not reserved for politicians. As the hypocrisy of The Two in what they did will be revealed. Look at facebook and you will see my dad is now some kind of hero? To whom and why? Did he not beat you and make you sit still under a desk for hours on pain of threats of beatings? Did he not always put you last over his friends? Oh remember Clive? Kathy had put him on the list of those who were trying to deceive and steal from my father in his final years? She would not go to family events if Clive or his girlfriend Myra was there. Its in your emails is it not? The family parties sculpted by you so they were not invited? At the end when it came time to reap your vengeance you threw us under the bus and embraced, literally, the family my dad chose to be with over you. You embraced them. Ah, see this is what true hypocrisy is. Dont look at politics and your liberal rants to know what hypocrisy is, rather look in the mirror. Chris, Sue, Kathy? What did you gain? It will become clear to the reader.

I knew someday I would have to set the BS straight. So here it is: The trashy truth.

My child was used a a pawn and that still continues. I told The Two to leave my kids alone. Other family members told them to leave their kids alone. But alas when you feel above it all and sort of like the one who everyone likes, you can get away with so much with your, aw shucks arent we lucky we dont need anything, public attititude.

Do I sound cranky? The truth is an ugly bitter pill so open your gullets and get ready.

Point One: My sister told me to kill myself after my mother died, my child was stolen from me and I was in a car crash.

Point Two: She is not above any devious plot you can imagine. I wish I could warn people and I will try.

Point Three: Chris was driving the car that changed my older brothers life. When it came time for Chris to pay him back, he tried to take away his  brothers inheritance and give it to his child. While all the while he kept his kids safe and out of the fray. The Story The Two tell is that dad wanted to give my money to my son because I was a bad mother, but that was not the real reason was it? So all three of us were the bad parents but dad trusted that you automatically would give your inheritance to your kids? Did you give your inheritance to your kids? I gave mine to the child you did not turn against me. They turned out my son to go against me and yet they still bear no responsibility. They visit my grandchildren and Chris and Sue act like birthed my child, and say they raised him.

Many single mothers face these perils of being called bad moms when they usually are the best moms. All my life for my child and now they reap the benefits and take on the role of grandparent.

Why only give my inheritance to one of my kids? And why not to the one who actually had a relationship with her grandpa? Why did The Two want us three kids, their brother and sisters to have our inheritance taken and given to our children and yet The Two have their inheritance all to themselves?

Dad was dead you did not have to take me to court 4 times to make that final cruel act happen. You worked overtime to try to get him to sign papers that he never did sign. And when was not enough you tried to bamboozle the court with your disgraced and disbarred lawyer. You would not even let me postpone a date to be with my child who spent almost 4 months in ICU. I had to leave and come back and go to court, again.

But I did not give up. You fought for money, I fought for love. 

I know this sounds confusing I will explain the details of the inheritance debacle dirty dealings next time.

Point Three: Dont come at me with your holier than thou attitude as your time for truth has come.

There are a ton of points to make. I can back it all up and I am done with the BS and you messing with people lives so you can act like you are here doing dads work. As if dads work is some holy decree. What did you call it Chris? Dads last final great act? The one huge dirty deed you agreed to help him with? Why? You never helped him with anything before. His son in laws did that. You only came for the money he doled out or a car here and there. 

My brother agreed to hurt his brother and sisters and nieces and nephews. At the expense of those who were living on the street? At the expense of relationships between mother and son, sister and brother, cousins? I would never have the nerve to come between a parent and a child. But not only do they  have the nerve, they continue right up to this day to insert themselves in my grandchildren's lives. How can you see them and know I am not allowed to see them? When you are the reason I cant see them. What happened to your soul? Oh that's right you never did believe in God. Neither of you. And the other one who is now so pious. I think both of your pictures are in the dictionary when you go to look up the word hypocrite. Three smiling sad phony baloney faces full of lies. 

I was not then, nor am I now, a bad mother. I never left my kids in the car on a hot day and had the police called on me. In fact the only time in my life I had the police called on me was at the hospital when I tried to see my dad and my sister kept asking him, if she should call the cops on me. She called them and we were removed. And no I was not yelling I was on my knees begging my dad to please talk to me. The second time was when I was not allowed to see my dads will after he had died, and went to my dads house and asked his wife for a copy. She would not give me it. I became so distraught. I had just found out she had told my son what the supposed new trust entailed and would not tell me. Now they had dragged my child in on their dirty deeds. I was so upset I felt they would all be happier if I just died, ironic right? They had been telling me for years to die and now I am offering my self up! I asked his wife " do you want me to kill myself"? She did not say no, by the way, "should I just shoot myself or jump out a window"? She never said no. I left and got a hotel room and a few hours later a swat team showed up asking me where was my gun that I had threatened my dads wife with. They put me in handcuffs and five large men with full on tactical gear questioned me alone in my room. Ok, now that is really a truth to tell as well.  Damn I must be one strong mother fucker to have survived all their plots to get rid of me.

 I might start teaching classes on it called "how to survive your family".

Guns? Never had one and would never want one and would never threaten someone with one. 

I never did any of the crap The Two did while they hide behind the veneer of respectability. I sometimes feel since I was a single mother I was always easy prey. I sometimes feel since I was not comfortable with BS I was suspicious to them.

You tried to tell me my dad did not love. You tried to tell me that his final act was to let me know I was a loser mom. You tried to take away all the suffering I did and the acts of self sacrifice I did to maintain a relationship with my dad, (and yes we will get to the letter I wrote him, when He too, told me to kill myself). Seems like wishing someone to take their own life runs in our family.

We will get to the letters you sent out that said I was mentally unstable and a clinical psychopath. We will get to when I was so sick in body and mind over why I was not allowed to participate in my dads funeral, how you made damn sure to let everyone know and to laugh and say I was having a mental break down and ha ha ha. I suppose if someone was mentally ill thats fair game? Do you also make fun of the handicapped and run over grannies in the crosswalk? Survival of the fittest at all cost right?

My dad loved me. As fucked up as he was: he loved me. I would not let you then and I will not let you now, take that from me. I suffered too much at his hands to now let you continue the John Krieg Train of Pain. I am getting off this jacked up, crumped up, full of lies train of pain and joining the human race. I am airing my dirty laundry and cleansing it from all the blood sweat and tears I gathered on the Train of Pain. I am hopping on board The Truth Train. 

I won in court by the way. And that too is another truth to tell.